HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

Every time I come across this day, I wish I have the opportunity to wish my late father (Abah)Happy Father's Day. He passed away on 2nd April 1995.

He was a great man, to say the least.

I was born 4.5Ibs, the first of an identical twin, bald and expected to die. He whisked me away on a train to Singapore and for the next 22 years, brought me up as an army kid. I grew up curious, a constant traveller, always discovering new things, fearless and ever so confident of my own strength. He wouldn't let me think otherwise. He always push me to the max of my potential -- never to fear falling and failing. Death will stop us, but for anything else, there's a cure for everything, he said.

This amazing man had once gone after a snatch thief in Chow Kit Road market alone. He had waited until he was certain he would catch the guy right there in the bright sunlight - like the most famous hero then - Mannix - before he strike. When I think about how difficult it is to get passersby nowaways to help snatch victims, I know the world shares with me the loss of this man.

My late father wasn't a well educated man. As a young man, the hip thing to do for a young Malay chap was to join the army, and so he did. It brought him to Kuala Pilah, where he 'discovered' my mother and they got married when she turned 14. He was 23. What? you said. Yup, that's a no-no now, but just asked the people of the early 1900-1950 if you like...it seems like that was about the ripe age to get married.

Educated or not, he also pushed for my entry into MRSM - now a ubiquitous boarding school, but then was a very new set-up. How would a kampung girl like myself be able to compete with all those polished urban folks? Well, being 1 of 50 accepted into Kuatagh that year wasn't so bad. The rest was history -One that couldn't have happened without him.

Abah was closest to my eldest son, since he was the first grandchild. He always made excuses to buy things for him (ok- this one is for this year's birthday, that one for next year) and Abah was the happiest person when my son articulated the word 'Atuk' on top of a luggage. Abah's love for children never stopped with mine. He used to suck the noses of his grandchildren whenever they couldn't breathe from cold. Hmm, not too many people would do that.

But most of all, I love him because he never thought of me as an adopted child. He brought me up as his own, and while others jibed me with some very malicious words since I was young, he was, and always is my father.

I would have died if he didn't remind me to buckle up half hour before the accident that took his life away. We were travelling towards Bali from Surabaya, and met an accident just two hours from Banyuwangi. He shielded my second son when they fell off the car. He died from internal bleeding. I was there with him in the back of the lorry in the rain while he breathe his last breath. My poor mother was helping my children. Those last moments seems to be etched forever in my mind.

It didn't seem right that such a good man would be taken away so fast. There were so many things that I wanted to tell him. That I love him. That I love him. That I love him. That he has shaped much of my values about life.

Please learn from my experience:

If you still have a father,
--please keep in touch
...please pray for him
...please tell him that you love him.


If you are a father
--please keep in touch
...please pray for them
...please tell them that you love them.

To the fathers of the world, please realize that you have a big impact on your daughters!


Manis Jean Tan